Makin Tua Makin…

Notes ini dibuat tahun 2009. Baca ini lagi bikin gw shock dan sedih. A BIG RED MARKED NOTE FOR ME!

Counting down, in the next 13 days, I’m no longer 1x and become 2x. Waktu tuh cepet banget dan gw pikir susah juga menikmati hidup kalau waktu berjalan cepat seperti ini. Masih banyak yang ingin gw lakukan namun apa daya, umur semakin tua, ajal semakin mendekat, dan akhir akan segera tiba.

Kadang gw berharap hidup bisa diulang lagi sehingga segala hal yang terlewatkan dapat gw lakukan. Banyak sekali hal yang gw sesali karena gw abaikan di masa lalu. Tapi memang penyesalan selalu datang belakangan, and not everything has a second chance.

People says I have a wonderful life. Well, no intention to brag myself, but sometimes I also feels that some people envy my success so far. Actually that makes I thanked God so much giving this wonderful life to me, even though I missed many things in the past. I know life ain’t perfect at all. And that makes life a life.

Am I ready to become a mature person? Am I ready to face the next phase of life? Am I ready to pursue my dreams? That’s a real big question I must answer in the next 13 days. Because I am no teenager anymore. I’m growing old, becoming an adult, and so on.

Once again, it’s a big grace that my life isn’t so suck. At this point, I admit that there’re some wishes I failed to pursue on my teenage life:

1. Masuk sekolah top. Well, sebenernya sih SMA 9 juga udah top sih. Tapi sebenernya dulu gw tuh pengen masuk SMA 8 Jakarta. Hehehehe. Almamater dah 😛
2. Become an exchange student
3. Be big on class. Seumur hidup gw cuma sekali bisa rank 1 di kelas.
4. Join basketball team. Sedari SD sebenernya udah pengen, tapi entah kenapa nggak kesampean sampe sekarang.
5. Master IT at young age. Jujur, sebenernya kemampuan IT gw waktu jaman SMA rada stagnan. Gw dulu pengen bisa kayak remaja-remaja yang udah bisa hacking, coding, etc.

And I also regret something in the past:

1. Nggak mau didaftarin kursus piano sama nyokap. Padahal sekarang gw malah pengen bisa main piano.
2. Cengeng. AHAHAHA
3. Nggak jujur sama perasaan sendiri dan nggak bisa ngungkapin perasaan gw ke seseorang (atau beberapa). Too afraid to take risks 🙂
4. Males olahraga. Hahahaha. My sport teachers would be laughing at me when they knew I said this thing.
5. Nggak terlalu aktif di organisasi. Sekali lagi karena males.
6. Males belajar.
7. Males ngapa-ngapain.

So I only regret two things: LAZINESS and COWARD! Mestinya dulu gw dengerin kata nyokap bokap gw biar nggak nyesel sekarang. Gw aja nggak tau apa gw bisa menghilangkan kemalasan itu. Bahkan sampai sekarang gw juga masih seneng males-malesan. So, a big message to my grown-up man later: Jangan sampe Makin Tua Makin MALES. HAHAHAHAHAHA

And I should be braver than now. I know I’m no man if I’m so coward. I must be brave to take any risk and not afraid of any failure.

Well, actually watching many teenage movies and dramas makes me feel a li’l bit down because it makes me regret my unfinished past. But, I will continue fighting to pursue all my (American) dreams! 😛